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There are a lot of people who say “I forgive you” when they mean “No harm done”, and a lot of people who say “That was unforgiveable” when they mean “That was genuinely really bad”.
Whether or not forgiveness is right is a complicated topic I do not want to get in here.
You forgive a conventional duel just as you forgive a conventional divorce.
The Emperor summons before him Bodhidharma and asks: “Master, I have been tolerant of innumerable gays, lesbians, bisexuals, asexuals, blacks, Hispanics, Asians, transgender people, and Jews.
How many Virtue Points have I earned for my meritorious deeds? The Emperor, somewhat put out, demands to know why.
Bodhidharma asks: “Well, what do you think of gay people?
” The Emperor answers: “What do you think I am, some kind of homophobic bigot? ” And Bodhidharma answers: “Thus do you gain no merit by tolerating them! If I had to define “tolerance” it would be something like “respect and kindness toward members of an outgroup”.
Someone who thinks divorce is abhorrent can “forgive” divorce.