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And then send it to the policeman's grieving widow. Revenge, that would be uppermost on my mind: "I'm going to wee on everything. I'm going to strain my personal potatoes throughout her premises."June: No, no, perhaps I'm not making myself clear. If that doesn't convince you, well, then, maybe you just don't deserve to get what you want. [goes round and sees that Jen's laptop is infested with malware] What the- what's all that crap!?

Keep the conversation about things that would interest everybody. Jen: With all due respect John, I am the head of IT and I have it on good authority that if you type "Google" into Google, you can break the Internet. Maurice Moss: Well, if someone called me a "big, ugly builder", I'd be furious - and not just because I'm actually an IT consultant. If you'd like to know more, there are thousands of Spaceology centres all over the UK.

[The old woman on the advert twists her ankle and falls down stairs, gets up and falls down second flight of stairs before picking up her phone and trying to dial 999] From today, dialing 999 won't get you the Emergency Services, and that's not the only thing that's changing!

Jen is obsessed with buying and wearing a pair of red high heels that are several sizes too small; she inadvertently tells off a visiting executive who was planning on doing business with Denholm.

Roy's date with a woman goes horribly wrong after she mistakes some chocolate on his head for faeces.

Beth Gaga Shaggy — no relation to Lady Gaga or Shaggy — is the founder of Spaceology, a religion, not a cult.

Jen Barber (Katherine Parkinson) is interviewing for a position at Reynholm Industries.

A lot of people would be confused as to why I invited them up here then asked them to leave, not you. Chicken in a basket, it has been all ruddy go today! Moss: Oh no, I spoke to the Elders of the Internet not one hour ago. This is what he told me when I met him on holiday two weeks ago. That means every star you can see in the night sky is a wish that has come true.

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